


Ash

by leontina (Leontina)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Biting, Bloodplay, Cross-Generation Relationship, Knotting, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Vampire Harry, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:08:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leontina/pseuds/leontina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is turned into a vampire and abandoned by his sire.  An incident prompts Harry to go to Remus for help; Remus may not be a vampire, but he’s the only one Harry can trust to understand what it’s like to be a monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ash

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this, gracerene. I hope you enjoy it!

Harry leaned against a metal railing, looking up at a high-rise block of flats which towered against the night sky, grimy and grey in a concrete estate where the only green was a square patch of trampled on grass in front of the tower block. 

Harry took another drag of his cigarette as a group of rowdy youths wearing trackies exited the building which Harry was watching, stinking of marijuana and cheap lager. They didn’t spare Harry a glance as they swaggered past him.

Harry tossed his used cigarette onto the ground and squished it into the gravel with his boots, before heading inside the block of flats.

He crinkled his nose as soon as he stepped through the door, the building stinking of weed and piss. Crude graffiti of badly drawn penises littered the walls; Harry could see where old drawings had not quite been cleaned off properly.

Reaching into the pocket of his black trenchcoat, Harry pulled out the scrap of paper that had been given to him several months ago. Back then Harry hadn’t thought he’d need to use it, but things were different now.

It was Harry’s luck that he was too claustrophobic to use the lift, and Remus’s flat was on the fourteenth floor - not that Harry had to worry about getting out of breath anymore, but it was still a trek. He’d have Apparated had he not been in a building filled with mostly Muggles. 

When Harry finally reached his destination, he was pleased to note that the nasty smell had gone, replaced with the spicy scent of cumin coming from one of the neighbouring flats. Harry breathed in deeply as he rapped twice on Remus’s door, having to wait only a few moments before Remus opened it.

“Harry!” Remus sounded surprised, and the smile on his face was strained. “I’ve just made tea; would you like some?”

“You need to invite me in,” Harry said, plastering on a fake smile of his own. 

“Of course, sorry,” Remus murmured, running a hand through his hair which seemed greyer than the last time Harry had seen it. “Please, Harry; I welcome you into my home.”

The magical tension that had been lingering in the doorway faded instantly, and Harry graciously stepped through it. Muggles didn’t have much right when it came to vampires and their folklore, but needing an invitation to enter someone’s home was unfortunately true.

Admittedly, Harry hadn’t known much about vampires until he had been bitten and turned by one just over six months ago - the following day had been when Remus had given Harry his flat number in case he ever needed help. His sire had posed as a Muggle and met Harry in a nightclub, where they danced together until the need became too much and they left for the nearest alley for a fuck. After they’d done, his sire had revealed himself for what he really was, and told Harry he wanted to gift him for getting rid of Voldemort. 

Ironic that by stopping a man’s immortality, Harry had been gifted immortality himself. Not that vampires were entirely immortal, but the only thing that could truly kill them was a wooden stake to the heart and good old decapitation.

But while Muggles had invitations and killing methods right, vampires could go out in sunlight, they couldn’t turn into bats or smoke, and most could survive on animal blood alone. There were the odd few who hunted humans, but they were far and few between.

While Remus poured their tea in the kitchenette, Harry took a seat on the tattered sofa, prodding absently at the white stuffing which had escaped through claw marks. Remus set Harry’s cup in front of him, and he downed the hot drink in one go. 

“It’s good to see you, Harry,” Remus said, and he sounded genuine. “But I know you wouldn’t be here unless something was wrong.”

Harry couldn’t meet Remus’s eyes. “I put Ginny in the hospital. I- I bit her, and when she tried to pull away I tore one of her veins right open. There was so much blood and…”

He trailed off, hoping beyond hope that Remus wouldn’t judge him. Remus _shouldn’t_ judge him. That was why Harry had come here; Remus knew what it meant to be a monster. 

“Is Ginny okay?” Remus asked, his voice calm and comforting, everything Harry had needed it to be.

He shrugged. “She survived, and there won’t be any lasting damage. She’s still in pain, though, and they’re keeping her in the hospital. But God, Remus, I thought...I thought I had everything under control. I had cravings for blood at first but animal blood helps with that. This time I just wanted to bite, and Ginny’s neck was just so warm and...and I couldn’t stop myself from drinking once I got a taste.”

He finally drew his eyes back to Remus, to find the other man staring intently at him, the amber of his eyes barely visible amongst the black of his widened pupils. 

Harry ran his tongue over his fangs, turning the cold, china teacup in his hands. There was a chip in it, and Harry pressed his finger against the damage, watching blood spill from the newly formed cut which lasted only a moment before it healed. 

“Will you help me, Remus? I know you’re not a vampire, but my sire fucked off to who knows where, and you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be…”

“A monster?” Remus suggested mildly.

“Out of control,” Harry finished. “I’m sorry if - ”

“I want you to bite me, Harry,” Remus said bluntly, placing his own teacup down on the coffee table before reaching out to take hold of Harry’s hands.

Harry didn’t pull away. “Didn’t you hear what I just said, Remus? I nearly _killed_ Ginny. If something happens again…”

“You can bite my wrist; you can’t do much damage there,” Remus offered, turning one of his hands so it was facing palm-up in Harry’s grasp. “It sounds like you’re teething, Harry; living off bottled animal blood isn’t enough for you. The Ministry’s tried to domesticate vampires to make them safe for wizards, but the fact is that vampires have instincts which can’t be ignored. Your sire should have taken you out hunting, but instead you were left alone and now you’ve reached the point where you need to hunt and _bite_. Your hunger may be satisfied but your instinct is going to take over and make you drink whenever you bite - that’s where the danger to others comes in. ” 

“So you think offering for me to bite you is a good idea?” Harry questioned dryly.

Remus wasn’t fazed. “The best way to learn control is by doing. You’re fortunate that you have your own cognition beneath the vampire; as a werewolf I literally lose my mind at the time when I need it most. You’ll be able to learn control this way; biting me will soothe that need, while teaching you not to drink just because you’ve bitten someone.”

“What if I do worse to you than I did to Ginny?” Harry protested, but he could hear the beating of Remus’s heart in his chest, feel the heat radiating through his body and the blood pumping through his veins. 

Remus’s wrist was still turned towards Harry, and Harry lifted it to his mouth, not yet daring to place his lips against the warm skin being offered to him. 

“Bite me, but don’t drink - ”

“I thought the point of this conversation was that I can’t stop myself!” Harry cried. 

Remus fixed Harry with a steely look which had Harry shy his head away, like a helpless animal caught in a predator’s gaze.

“If you’d let me finish, I was going to say don’t drink until I say so,” Remus said, calm despite his oddly dominant stance.

Remus looked weary and worn, with dark circles under his eyes which were accentuated by his pale skin. He was of average height, an inch or two shorter than Harry, and was thin all over. Remus didn’t physically give away a source of dominance or power, and he was usually mild-mannered and kept to himself, but now Remus seemed to demand submission without even doing anything; Harry wondered if it was a werewolf thing. 

Shaking his head slightly, Harry finally pressed his mouth against Remus’s wrist. The vein pulsed beneath Harry’s lips, warm and racing with blood which Harry longed to taste. He found his position and pressed his fangs into the skin, breaking it open.

Rich blood immediately filled Harry’s mouth, and a calming sense of satisfaction washed over him as a toothache he hadn’t even known he had dissipated in an instant. His instincts urged him to begin drinking, and when he glanced up at Remus to warn him, Remus nodded.

For a moment, Harry revelled in the delectable taste of human blood. But Remus wasn’t human.

The blood in his mouth abruptly became icy cold and congealed, and Harry tore his mouth away, spluttering as the choked on the taste of ashes. 

“What’s wrong with you?!” Harry exclaimed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He could still feel blood coating his lips and dripping down his chin, but he didn’t dare lick it away. “Why do you taste like death?”

“I’m a werewolf,” Remus said bluntly. “The blood of werewolves tastes repulsive and unpalatable to vampires, in the same way that a vampire’s scent is odious to a wolf. Every time you bite me and drink, you’ll be subjected to that taste. Eventually you’ll come to associate drinking blood as a negative experience and won’t be tempted anymore; it’s called conditioning.”

Harry, who only seconds ago had to spit out Remus’s blood, already found himself transfixed again by the blood trickling out of the wound on Remus’s wrist. The conditioning technique had to be worth a shot.

***

They settled into an easy routine. 

Vampires weren’t nocturnal, but the moonlight offered warmth that the sun no longer did, so Harry found himself staying up late at night and sleeping in during the day. Remus, meanwhile, had managed to find himself a job cleaning in a Muggle nightclub. He was left alone to do his job during the days, so Remus was able to charm the equipment to do the cleaning for him while he slept, which came in very useful after the full moons. It didn’t pay well, and it was risking breaking several secrecy laws, but it was a steady job which was hard to come by for a werewolf.

Whenever Remus returned from work, Harry would be awake, and they sat together on the tatty sofa with Harry’s mouth attached to Remus’s wrist. Harry felt like a teething toddler, needing something in his mouth to hold off the ache in his fangs, but Remus didn’t seem to mind.

And though Harry had quickly learned not to drink from Remus, they both non-verbally agreed that they would carry on as they were. Harry wasn’t sure why Remus had agreed, but for Harry it was the comfort of knowing that he could be himself - be a _vampire_ \- while having complete trust that Remus could stop Harry before he could hurt him. 

According to society they were both monsters, and it was better to be monsters together than be monsters alone. 

So when Remus returned from work one day and went straight to his room with nothing more than a mumbled greeting to Harry, it was very out of the ordinary. Harry, however, put it down to the full moon being the next night. He didn’t blame Remus for wanting some space, and intended on giving him that.

That was, he tried to leave Remus alone until he found himself unable to.

Night had fallen, leaving Harry in the darkness of the front room without a light on. He was on edge, drumming his fingers on the sofa and tapping his feet, unable to sit still and not sure why. Then he realised it was because he could smell blood.

Not fresh blood which had been recently spilled, but rather it was a subtle scent, carried through the air like a warm breeze. It was the same smell of blood which Harry had picked up on with Ginny that unfortunate time, when her nerves around Harry had got the better of her and caused her blood to pump faster and harder as her heart rate had picked up.

The smell and the heat was intoxicating, and Harry allowed his feet to carry him to Remus’s bedroom door. When Harry placed his hand on the wood to push the door open he almost found himself overwhelmed; it was nothing like he had ever felt before. Need, and want, and _desperation_ , not for blood but for touch, something brutal and _animalistic_.

The door gave way and then there was light, flickering from a single bulb dangling from a wire above the bed. It illuminated Remus’s nude form, lithe and bony, covered in sweat as Remus worked furiously on his cock with his hand.

Remus turned towards Harry as he heard the door open, and the amber of his eyes was bright and glassy. He said nothing, but kept his eyes trained on Harry, his fingers not stopping even then. 

Harry couldn’t meet Remus’s eyes, too transfixed on the way Remus’s fingers moved up and down his cock frantically, the head of it swollen pink and his balls large and heavy, dusted with light hairs.

Harry ran his tongue over his fangs and crossed the room, crawling onto the bed between Remus’s legs and pressing his face to his thighs. The heat was intense, and Harry craved it like a drug. Vampirism had left him so cold, and he hadn’t realised how much he had missed the warmth. 

His eyes glanced up to Remus who was still watching him. Remus gave Harry a slight nod, and Harry’s tongue traced a line up Remus’s thigh.

“Bite me, Harry,” Remus murmured, reaching down with his other hand to grab hold of Harry’s hair.

Remus tugged hard at it as Harry bit down on the soft flesh of his thigh, pressing his nose against the skin. Harry allowed the blood to tempt his mouth for just a moment before pulling back, wiping the blood from his lips before the taste turned to ash. He switched to the other thigh, nipping and biting lightly on a trail up Remus’s leg, before swiping his tongue across Remus’s sack. 

Remus’s fingers were working faster than ever, and he let out a string of moans as Harry sucked on one of his balls.

“Fuck, Harry, I’m - ” Remus ground out, his words sliding into a pleasured groan as he came. 

Harry tilted his chin up and shut his eyes as Remus released on his face. He licked his lips clean before shuffling up the bed just enough so that he could rest his head against Remus’s chest. 

Remus’s arms wound around Harry and held him close, and Harry shut his eyes as he listened to the beating of Remus’s heart, feeling the way his chest moved up and down with each breath, relishing in how _alive_ Remus was. 

It had only been a few months but being alive felt a world away to Harry, now. He was stuck, not alive but not quite dead either; undead, the Muggles called it. His friends didn’t understand; how could they? And Remus didn’t know what it was like either, but Remus _did_ know what it was like to be something that wasn’t human. 

Remus was everything that Harry needed, what he yearned for, and Harry was quite happy to stay in his arms forever, for as long as Remus let him. 

***

Harry awoke the following morning, when the first light of the day began streaming through the gap in the curtains. 

Harry hadn’t slept through the night in a long time, and it was nice to have a sense of normality again, even if it wouldn’t last. Even after all these months, Harry still hadn’t been able to get over the small changes that vampirism had caused.The big changes had been tough but easy to deal with; it was the little, everyday reminders that he was no longer human which got to Harry, things so minute that most other people wouldn’t even consider them an issue. 

Things like living for the moonlight, not being able to see his reflection in the mirror, sending birthday presents to his friends while he knew that he’d never get any older...it was draining trying to come to terms with it all. 

Remus was still fast asleep, so Harry slowly detached himself from Remus’s arms, careful not to wake the sleeping man. There was a possibility that Remus might rue the following night, and Harry didn’t want to be there to see the look of shame and regret in his eyes. Being with Remus had been a glimmer of normality for Harry, and he wasn’t ready for that to end yet. 

Harry tiptoed out of the room and collapsed on the ratty sofa, pulling the thin blanket he used as bed sheets around him, and shifting onto his side. If he feigned sleep then Remus would go to work and Harry would be able to put off the ‘it was good but we shouldn’t have done it’ talk until the evening. And maybe then Remus would be too occupied with the full moon to bother with dashing Harry’s hopes. 

Harry closed his eyes as he heard shuffling coming from Remus’s room, holding himself very still as the bedroom door creaked open and footsteps pattered on the floorboards. 

“I know you’re awake, Harry,” Remus said gently, perching on the edge of the sofa by Harry’s feet. The blanket was tugged off Harry, but he stayed in position, keeping his eyes closed.

“Aren’t you meant to be at work?” Harry murmured, turning to lay on his back. He could feel how close Remus was, and could smell the earthy scent of the cheap cologne that he used. Harry hadn’t used to like it, but now it was a scent which meant Remus, and Harry liked everything and anything to do with Remus.

Harry wasn’t sure whether he was smitten or desperate, or perhaps a touch of both. 

“I called in sick,” Remus answered, placing a hand so lightly on Harry’s knee that he might as well not be touching it. “I want to apologise for last night, Harry.”

And so it started.

“I was...lustful,” Remus pressed on, and Harry opened one eye to look at him. Remus was still nude, and Harry swallowed heavily as he eyed the lovely cock on display for him. “The nearer a full moon, the more animalistic I get. Werewolves release a pheromone when they’re...”

“Randy?” Harry supplied.

“Sure.” Remus allowed himself a small smile. “This pheromone is supposed to attract a mate of werewolf kind, but other _creatures_ can feel its effects.” 

Remus said the word ‘creature’ gently, as though he didn’t want to offend Harry by referencing his non-humanness too bluntly. Remus could be so considerate sometimes it was annoying, but Harry forgave him; nobody else cared enough to take care when referring to Harry’s vampire status. 

Remus pressed on, oblivious to Harry’s thought process. “So if I made you feel… _randy_ , and you felt like I was your only choice - ”

“Hang on!” Harry cut in, springing forward and covering his mouth as he tried to hide his smile. “You think because you released a pheromone that made me horny, I came to your bed because I couldn’t help myself? Does this pheromone compel creatures to come to you?”

“Well no, but - ”

Harry raised a brow, unable to hold his smirk back.“So you think I can’t control myself when it comes to sex? You think it’s more likely that I’m a desperate teenager who’d bed anything, rather than the possibility that I might actually _want_ you?”

“I don’t have anything for you to want,” Remus said matter-of-factly, gesturing around his flat. “I’m a werewolf, poor, old enough to be your father - ”

“But you’re also Remus and I like you,” Harry stated firmly, placing a hand over Remus’s. “I could argue the same way, too; what could you want with me? I’m going to be frozen at eighteen forever; forever eighteen and forever hungry for blood.”

“And forever beautiful,” Remus breathed.

Their eyes met, Remus’s full of adoration and need and want. Remus was so close, their lips just inches apart…

Harry’s eyes widened as he was pushed down suddenly, Remus on top of him, with a single hand pinning both of Harry’s wrists above his head. He could feel the hard outline of Remus’s cock pressing against his hip, and Harry found himself growing hard in response. 

Harry ran his tongue over his fangs, relaxing into Remus’s grip. Harry could have easily fought if he wanted to - vampires were stronger than werewolves while they were still in human form - but Harry didn’t want to fight. 

Remus brought warmth and the tangy scent of copper, and he actually wanted Harry. Harry wasn’t going to fight, but that wasn’t to say he would blindingly submit like a doll. Remus may be an alpha werewolf, but Harry wasn’t a beta or an omega - he was a vampire, and vampires made their own rules. 

“Are you going to fuck me, Remus?”

He lifted his hips up in invitation, and Remus quickly made work of Harry’s trousers and boxers, throwing them to the side of the room carelessly. 

“Yes, Harry,” Remus breathed, pressing his palm against Harry’s stomach and trailing it up to his chest. Remus’s fingers clenched as he balled the fabric of Harry’s t-shirt in his fist, and a tug had the material ripped clean from Harry’s body. “Yes, I’m going to fuck you. You’re never going to want anyone else again.”

Their bodies were finally fully pressed together, the warmth from Remus radiating against Harry, sinking into his skin and burning his near empty veins. Harry needed more of it, to make pretend that he was still human, even if it was just for a little while. 

“I’ll never want anyone else as long as you stay with me,” Harry promised, breaking free from Remus’s hold and flipping their positions so that Harry was straddling Remus, his legs either side of Remus’s hips. 

Harry pressed his hand against Remus’s chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. Harry pressed his body down, the drumming echoing into Harry’s chest as he trapped his hand between their bodies, his fingers vibrating with the force of the beating heart. 

Harry wanted to devour Remus’s life, taste the air from his lungs, and Remus grasped at Harry tightly as their lips met, nails scratching Harry’s hips as they kissed violently. Harry’s fangs tore at the soft skin of Remus’s lips, spilling warm blood across their skin.

Remus flipped their positions again, grinding against Harry as he roughly grabbed Harry’s leg to hook around Remus’s waist.

“Are you ready for my cock?” Remus growled, reaching down to press a finger against Harry’s entrance. He murmured a lubrication charm before pressing it in, swiftly sliding in another. “How badly do you need me to fuck you?”

“So much,” Harry urged, writhing against the fingers fucking him. Harry’s whole body felt _alive_ , and Remus wasn’t even inside him yet. He rocked his hips, reaching down and forming a fist around their cocks as they slid alongside one another. 

Remus moaned, and Harry grinned in satisfaction. “If that feels good, imagine how good it will be to fuck me,” he said with a sly smile.

“Is that a hint?” Remus teased, laughing gently as Harry threw his head back as Remus’s fingers brushed his prostate. 

“Remus!” Harry ground out, muttering his own lubrication charm to slick up Remus’s erection. “Any time before the full moon?”

He gasped as Remus slapped his thigh, leaving an angry red mark which quickly faded into pale skin. 

“ _After_ the full moon you’re in for a spanking,” Remus murmured as pulled his fingers back and positioned himself so that his cock was pressing against Harry’s hole. “But seeing as you’re so needy now…”

Remus didn’t ease in, pushing inside Harry with a brutal thrust. It set the pace, Remus giving short and fast thrusts, pounding inside Harry with abandoned fury.

The air in the room was static, hot and metallic, and Harry wanted everything Remus had to give and more. He had never been fucked so intensely, and never by somebody who had wanted Harry just as much as he wanted them. 

Harry hooked his other leg around Remus, pulling him in deeper as he slammed against his prostate. He urged Remus on; “ _more_ ,” “ _harder_ ,” “ _deeper_.”

There was an itching in Harry to flip their positions so that he could ride Remus, but there would be other times for that. It was the full moon tonight, and Remus needed to satisfy his instincts. Harry didn’t mind letting Remus take the lead, anyway; he had never been fucked so brilliantly. 

“I’m close,” Remus uttered, so breathless he struggled to get the words out. “I’m going to...knot. Do you want me to - ?”

“Do it,” Harry begged, not knowing how much he had wanted to be knotted until now. He imagined how full he’d be with Remus’s seed; his life; “please, Remus!”

Remus threw his head back and moaned, and Harry felt a pressure at his rim as the base of Remus’s cock widened, pressing into him and stretching him as far as he could be. 

Remus began to jerk Harry’s cock as he bucked his hips wildly, reducing Harry’s speech to a string of wordless moans. 

Harry reached up to pull Remus down to his level, burying his face against his shoulder and biting down on his collarbone when he came. It was like nothing Harry had ever experienced before, his whole body feeling _alive_ again, like his heart was beating and his lungs were breathing - just for a moment, but it was a moment of utter bliss. Even the taste of ash in his mouth didn’t matter, his body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over him.

He closed his eyes and released his bite as Remus collapsed fully on top of him, his hips lazily circling as he spilled inside Harry. Remus’s heart was pounding harder than ever before, the rush of blood to his cheeks making Harry almost dizzy from the subtle undertones of blood in the air, so close to his nose. 

After several minutes, the pressure on Harry’s rim faded away as Remus’s knot emptied. Harry felt seed trickle down his thighs as Remus pulled out of him slowly, leaving Harry empty and sore, but more than satisfied. 

Remus climbed off Harry without a word, reaching for his wand and casting a cleansing charm over them both, before heading over to the mirror hanging on the wall.

Harry watched Remus’s arse for a moment, it was maybe a bit bony but it was mostly pert, and he idly wondered if Remus would let Harry have a go at it sometime. Although Harry would happily bottom for Remus if he fucked like that all the time, it would be nice to switch things up a bit when Harry got too sore for another go. 

He pushed himself off the sofa, wincing at the tenderness of his arse, and joined Remus in front of the mirror.

Remus’s cheeks were flushed red, the amber of his eyes so bright they could almost be glowing. and his fringe of light hair was stuck to the sweat on his forehead. He looked so human and so alone; it was as if Remus was by himself in the room, like Harry wasn’t stood behind him with his chin resting on Remus’s shoulder and his arms around his waist. 

Harry hated mirrors, usually. He hadn’t realised how much he’d actually miss his mirror until it stopped talking to him when he stood in front of it. 

“I meant what I said earlier, Harry; you’re beautiful,” Remus said softly, smiling at him through the mirror. “Your hair’s so black, like a raven against the snow. You look ethereal; the vampirism really brings out your eyes.”

“Killing Curse green for the undead boy,” Harry mused, shutting his eyes for a moment. “Was I beautiful before I was a vampire?”

“Absolutely,” Remus said. “It’s said that vampires have a fine sense in prey.”

“Can I stay with you tonight?” It was hours until the full moon, and maybe they could fuck again before then, but Harry really wanted to be with Remus at the moon. “You can’t hurt me; I was fine prey for a vampire, but a vampire’s no prey for a werewolf.”

“We’d never touch your kind,” Remus agreed. “If you really want to…”

It was easy acceptance, because Remus knew that Harry understood what life was as a creature. Society couldn’t understand them, and they could barely understand themselves, but they could understand each other. 

That was what mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> Please show your appreciation for the author here, or on [LIVEJOURNAL](http://hp-crossgenfest.livejournal.com/20668.html)! ♥


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